| FUCK |
[30 Nov 2009|10:17pm] |
MY LIFE.
I THOT KARMA WAS A BITCH. BUT honestly, what did I do?
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| Things i want. |
[16 Nov 2009|12:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bring me Flowers- Hope |
] |
I want to be loved and cuddled with when I'm sick.
I want to feel someones passion for me through their kiss.
i want some one to love me even more when they see they're ex because they know I'm better.
I want someone to tell me I'm hot, beautiful and sexy everyday. Not just cute.
I want someone to realize what they have with me is genuine and 95% of the time they wont find it in anyone eles.
I want someone to trust me, because when i love, i love.
I want someone to tell me they love me.
I want someone to save an extra seat for me when they know I'm arriving late.
I want someone who calms me when I'm stressed.
I want someone who thinks about my feelings and my actions as much as I do theirs.
I want someone who wants to have sex with me.
And mainly, most of all, I want someone who loves me for me and genuinely wants to live on the beach with me and sit on a beach chair, watch the sun go down and be happy.
It hurts to write this. I know I'm not perfect, none of us are, but this is just what i really want :(
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|
| Please dont get me rescued. |
[02 Nov 2009|10:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
Static to the sound of you and I
Undone for the last time
And there this was
Hiding at the bottom of your
Swimming pool some September
And don't you think
I wish that I could stay
Your lips give you away
I can hear it, a jet engine
Through the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd
Prefer not to be rescued
;(
And it's unclear
But this may be my last song
Oh, I, I can tell
She's raising hell to give to me
She got me warm
So please don't get me rescued
Oh, say you'll miss me one last time
I'll be strong, but whatever you do
Please don't get me rescued...
:(
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|
| After Hallloween |
[30 Oct 2009|08:36am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 uncomfortable |
] |
im scared.
he either has a lot of stepping up to do and showing more respect for me...
or i guess it's over.
there's nuthing planned, nuthing exciting, and nuthing for us to look forward to after Halloween.
i'm actually scared.
it may end here.
|
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| SO FREAKIN |
[26 Oct 2009|09:36am] |
frustrated....
OMG im going crazy
i need a good cry.
|
|
| i wanna kill sumone. |
[15 Oct 2009|06:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bitchy |
] |
I hate bitches and i hate this feeling.
Stressss to the max.
|
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| Took from sally, looks really time consuming so ya :) |
[20 Sep 2009|09:29pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Till I come-ATB |
] |
TEN THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY TO TEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
1. I love you very much. I dont know what I would do without you. I definetly would not be the same person i am without you.
2. You are my hero. You are my inspiration. Your leadership skills and personality is who i aspire to be,you have no idea how much you mean to me. I love you.
3. I dislike you. and its not your fault your fucked up. it just makes me hate you.
4. Everytime i fall for you, you find a way to stop me. Your bipolar but i still love you. it sucks and after all this ur still gonna dump me when u go to usc. i just know it. :(
5. Ok, you know who you are but i love you. you're always there for me no matter what. sisters forever.
6. If you're in heaven, i hope your looking down on me and smiling in your own doggy ways.
7. You can be annoying ,but im happy u make my mom happy.
8. Im so happy i havent run into you yet.
9. This soroity stuff is stupid
10.I hope your class gets eaiser.
NINE THINGS PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME.
1. I'm going to be on tv on wednesday
2. I almost had a sister.
3. and i love sad songs. they make me happy.
4. I dont know if im going to make it through college.
5. when im mad, i cry.
6. I'm super concious of peoples teeth.
7. I LOVE THE DIRTIEST WORDS INA HIPHOP SONG. the dirtier the better.
8. I secretly think i still have a chance to make it to the olympics.
9. My dad is sick. He has MS and has had it for like 20 years. I dont ever remember my dad running.
EIGHT WAYS TO WIN MY HEART.
1. Have sexy arms
2. know a lot of quotes
3. just make me laugh
4. Smell good
5. be similar to me
6. have intelligence
7. take me to new places
8. have a passion for life as well
SEVEN THINGS THAT CROSS MY MIND A LOT.
1. my mom
2. my dad
3. Ky
4. Danielle, Jenna and Sally
5. School
6. My future
7. Where id rather be
SIX THINGS I DO BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP.
1. brush my teeth
2. drink water
3. watch tv
4. if ky's in my bed (lol that sounds funny), kiss him
5. think
6. roll over
FIVE THINGS YOU FIRST NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX.
1. height
2. Smile
3. How they speak
4. hair
5. eyes
FOUR THINGS I WISH I NEVER DID.
1. Got in a car accident
2. Went to SJ
3. spent so much on boys
4. Acted selfish
THREE SONGS TO DESCRIBE MY LIFE.
1. The finish Line- Snow patrol
2. Fragile
3. Breakeven-The Script
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE.
1. Swim with the dolphins
2. Be married to the best man ever and own a bunch of beautiful home with him even though we're always gone cuz we travel the world.
ONE CONFESSION.
1. I get anxiety over the male species.
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| Sometimes i think im really immature |
[10 Sep 2009|12:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
listless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Undeniable-Mat Kearny |
] |
So, i was just thinking about how immature my naive thoughts can get sometimes. I literally thought that after you have sex you change as a person, you suddenly grow up or somthing about your personality changes. I was so wrong. LOL i am the exact same person. I've shared something special with someone that i have never done before but im still sarah, and i didnt grow up. I feel like i may be able to handle things in life better, but personality wise, im the same person.
ps. my facebook has been deactivated due to f-ing recruitment sooo for the next 4 days i dont exist :P
anddd my hair is not blonde enuff...:( i have to go back.
omg so much to do tomoro( my only day off till tuesday)
|
|
| Day n Nite |
[30 Aug 2009|10:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 satisfied |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Somthin' Special-Colbie Colait |
] |
I'm really happy. And it feels amazing. After a 6 month slump I have finally returned to the carefree happy girl i knew was in me. Sure, boys do not mean everything but he DID pull sumthing out in me that I thought would never come back. We think deep together. We don't let little things stress us. But, mostly everything about us, even the values and beliefs are so similar. He is who i wud have been if i went to elco. It's really nice to have a reminder of what a good person you are and why it is really important to value our youth. Age is a beautiful thing, but so is our youth. BE Rebellious. And as i told Ky, seriously, if you dont WANT to grow up yet, THEN DONT, jus be responsible. It's easy. I'll know when it is im ready to grow up. Until then, lets all just go play on the playground. ;)
|
|
| 8 seconds left in overtime |
[18 Aug 2009|11:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relieved |
] |
okay. so on sunday, i got into a car accident. i was rear-ended and it was all his fault non-the less i hit my head really hard on the headrest. I went to west hills hospital and after 5 hours of waiting in the ER (thanks danielle for visiting) i finally got a catscan. it was all clear, i had no major head trama just a minor concussion. then, the doctor told me that they found sumthing eles on the catscan. they cudnt tell for sure but they thot they saw a brain anyurism on a different part of my brain. meaning, that this car accident cud have saved my life, but i cud die at any momment. i freaked out. my whole life flashed before me and knowing that at any moment i cud die obviously was the scariest thing ever.
the next day i went to UCLA because they have the best neurology dept int he country. they did a huge scan. i as admitted into the hospital iv and everything. they wheeled me all over and after the catscan prepared me for f-ing brain surgery! then the results came back and told me that there is nuthing. no head trama frm the accident. and NO anuyrism. i was sooooo relieved. again, life flashed before me. im really lucky.
seriously, life is short. you never know when sumthing terrible will happen. enjoy every moment. dont stress. just breathe.
|
|
| This cud be good. But, dude I'm breathin happy :) |
[30 Jul 2009|10:48am] |
Remember those walls I built
Well Baby they are turning down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
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|
| Major |
[26 Jul 2009|09:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
confusion.
|
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| Today Felt So Damn Good |
[12 Jul 2009|11:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
refreshed |
] |
Ok. I finally know. I was with Brunnella today and i figured out how happy people are happy. They BREATHE happy. I forget to breathe and they enjoy every breath.
I thought about Brandon this weekend. I think about him everyday, but the feeling of thinking about him is becoming numb. Kind of like how i feel when i think about Landon or David. Sure there are alot of memories there, but he was just another person. Another person who missed out.<i love this because it finally means i am being confident with myself again. :)
If every weekend is as good as these past two weekends, then im really enjoying being single.
There's so much I want to do in life and int he next few years. I wanna talk to as many people as I can. Club. Enjoy my major. Study abroad. And meet good people along the way...<3
|
|
| I know who I want to take me home |
[01 Jul 2009|08:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 distressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Closing Time- Semisonic |
] |
One year ago. Today.
Was one of the happiest days of my life.
Today.
I don't even want to breathe anymore.
Ya, no im deff sick to my stomach today :(
|
|
| :) |
[24 Jun 2009|07:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
Last Night.
Holy shit.
<3
|
|
| Somebody Turn the lights on, somebody tell me what's wrong |
[14 Jun 2009|08:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mad-ne-yo |
] |
Seriously, Lindsay saved me the other night. And Roxy our gossip sesh was bombb...:)
I dunno wtf is wrong with me. I am a selfish piece of shit that has no place in life. Selfish sounding because im only begging for consolidation. When i get it, i cherish it.I am not happy, im trying so hard to do things that will make me happy and when for those few hours a day, happiness reaches me its fucking amazing. It allows me to escape. Just because sumone is asking for help, duz that make them selfish? Apparently in some eyes.
i;m trying guys. I cannot adhere to other immaturaties at this point until i am content with myself. Meaning save the drama for your momma.
im trying really hard to live and breathe.
Why, is the biggest question i ask myself.
I still have no answers.
I still miss having a boyfriend.
I still miss having a friend who wants to be with me everyday.
And i still miss being happy because now, its practically all fake.
I know i have a guy addiction. That's sumthing i know for sure.
Bottom line is. Im not okay.
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|
|
[09 Jun 2009|01:55pm] |
I completly forgot to talk about this weekend. Friday was okay. Saturday, my bday. work was great cuz it ended early. :)and then froyo with dani was bomb and dinner at PF changs in sm sooo good :)
then party afterwards @ my placeee. Thank you brunnella, danielle and lindsay for takin care of me ;) it was soo worth it...
ily you guys and thanks to everyone for their gifts and coming to the bday dinner <3 you all
|
|
| The show |
[09 Jun 2009|09:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
You guys! dont prepare yourself for a fabulous show because although my face will be on national television, my voice will sound liek a mix between an old man and croaking frog.
Yep. it soo had to happen to me. :P
damn acting is tiring and hard lol...my mic. is always fucking up and they guy has to reach into my bra to fix it. ;) hes sexy tho.
2moros last day of filming. not going to work today, i cud drown a kid cuz i cant talk. its stupid they wudnt hear me yelling at them soo ill jus go in tomoro.
im kicked out of my house till wednesday and everything they do will be a suprise oh and theyre not doing my room! :)
but mmmm those painter boys :)
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